Wax On, Wax Off

Last week, the Handyman took Booper to what we hoped would be the first of many kids martial arts classes. True to form, The Boop was cautious about the new situation and elected not to participate. He sat with his Dad, watching closely, and they agreed that next time he would give it a whack.

Afterward, I had a brainstorm and thought it might be easier for Booper to venture forth if the Caboose tried it with him. (They are thick as thieves.) I researched the options in our area and yesterday took them to a preschool martial arts class for kids ages 2.5 to 5. (They are 2.5 (Caboose) and 4.5 (Booper)). When we arrived at the dojo, we met Sensei (who, not for noting, was smokin' hot) and waited for class to begin. Sensei was the main teacher, and he had two assistants, both boys around 13 or 14 years old. My kids generally respond well to older boys like that. Booper was willing to stand with the other kids in the line--an improvement over last time--but would not otherwise take part in class. He was obviously shy (he had his fingers in his mouth, which he only does when he's anxious and shy) and just wanted to watch. The Caboose, on the other hand, was a prodigy. He kicked, punched, jumped, ran, stretched, and bowed. All while listening closely to Sensei. He did it all, and loved it. To encourage The Boop to try it, I started in the class myself. Sensei encouraged me to participate, and it was fun! But I was a little apprehensive that my participation would undermine the goal: to help Booper develop self-confidence, self-discipline and strength. Also, because he has gentle female teachers all day, I thought it would be good for him/them to experience a more firm, strict male teacher.

When class was over, Booper, who is the total sweetness, told me, "Mommy, I am so proud of you for doing the class. You did a great job." Because he struggles with trying new things, I got the feeling that it really impressed him that I was willing to just try something and not let its newness get in my way. So right there I was feeling like maybe I had done the right thing by leaping in.

After class, Sensei told me that he thought both boys could enroll and that it's not uncommon for some kids to be reluctant in the first class. Given a few more sessions, he expects Booper to be roundhousing with the best of them. He also told me that I am welcome to participate in class with them, at no extra charge. I would really like to, but I am torn. Let me break it down for you:

Pros: 1) Martial arts becomes a family activity, which I would like more of, since the boys go to preschool fulltime. 2) The boys see me model the kind of behavior that I would like them to exhibit. i.e. willingness to try new things, listening to teacher, focused attention in class. 3) I get a chance to learn martial arts and get some exercise.

Cons: 1) The Boop does not get this opportunity to master his fear of doing new things alone. i.e. I am horning in on his action. 2)....there really is no 2. That's all I got.

Mitigating factors: Both boys attend preschool fulltime, while I am at work. We get exactly zero complaints about their behavior at school. Their teachers love them and they are popular with the other kids (Booper is maybe a little too popular. 4 girls in his class plan to marry him.) Booper is the oldest child in his class, which we notice has done a tremendous amount for his self-confidence, after being the youngest/smallest for a while the year before. Next year, he will likely start kindergarten. We would like this to ease this transition for him as much as possible, hence our objective to give him some experience with new environments. Point being: it's not like I am with them all the time, smothering them, and preventing them from being independent. But we want to help foster independence as a general principle.

Can you tell I'm feeling conflicted? What do you think? Should I do the class with them? Just do a couple classes until they are comfortable? Not do the class at all and make Booper cowboy up?

Please advise.