The End

Those of you who have read this blog for the last little bit have heard me mention my childhood friend, Max Beck. Max died on Saturday after a long battle with cancer. I have a lot I want to write about him, but right now it's all too raw. So, I am pasting in a transcript from an interview that Max did with Anderson Cooper about the issue of intersexuality. The first part of the transcript is lifted from "Middle Sexes," a documentary Max was in that is occasionally aired on HBO.

MAX BECK, BORN INTERSEXUAL: When I was born doctors couldn't determine if I was a boy or a girl. I had what are described as ambiguous genitalia. My parents were confused, scared, they weren't able to tell anyone who knew they'd had a child if it was a boy or a girl.
GORE VIDAL, NARRATOR, "MIDDLE SEXES": Max was just a year old when his phallus was surgically reduced. He was brought up as a girl, Judy, who underwent a whole series of operations until the age of 15, never once being told what they were for.
BECK: For 20 odd years I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about this and didn't tell -- just like my mother didn't tell -- her best friend. I never even told my best friend.
VIDAL: By her late teens Judy felt confused. She tried a relationship with a boy -- and a girl.
BECK: Whereas my male partner, boyfriend, had not commented on the difference in my genital anatomy -- which incidentally I wasn't even aware of at the time -- my female partner did. She said something. She said, boy, Judy you sure are weird. I came away from that thinking of myself as a monster or a freak. And so I decided that I would avoid that upset by being with men. So I quite literally settled down with the next guy to come along.
VIDAL: Judy simply married a male friend from college. But the relationship was short-lived. Judy had met Tamara.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I was really excited. It was definitely a case of love at first sight. Sparks just flew. It was magic.
BECK: I looked at her and fell in love with her. It was love at first sight. She was breathtakingly beautiful.
VIDAL: Then a bombshell. I needed my childhood immunization records. So I contacted my childhood pediatrician and found that he had retired. And the woman who had taken over his practice had someone photocopy my records and mail them. And I opened my mail in a diner in a Center City, Philadelphia. And right after my name, which at the time was Judy Elizabeth Beck, were the words "male pseudo hermaphrodite". And I was devastated and dumbfounded. At the same time it was almost a relief because I had a label. Not only did I know that was monster, but I could point in a textbook at exactly what kind of monster I was.
VIDAL: The couple lived in an open lesbian relationship, but Judy's knowledge of her own medical history was gnawing at her. I began to question how valid a lesbian identity was; if I'm not female, can I be a lesbian? I'm thinking in those vicious circles and undermining this precious shred of identity that I had finally obtained through Tamara (ph) and (INAUDIBLE) depression and I was hospitalized.
VIDAL: What emerged from this turmoil was a man. Judy became Max. The full transition took four years and incredibly the loving bond with Tamara survived. They live as man and wife with a child conceived by Tamara.
BECK: I don't have a male identity. And I don't know that I ever had a female identity, but I certainly don't have one now. And if pressed I supposed I would say I have an inter-sexed identity.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We've been together more than 10 years now and we're still together. This is the same person that I fell in love with. You know over the next 50 years his hair is going to fall out and he's going to get wrinkles and he's still going to be my Max.

(END VIDEOTAPE)
COOPER: It is a remarkable story and joining me now from Atlanta is Max Beck. Max, thanks for being with us.
MAX BECK, BORN INTERSEXUAL: My pleasure.
COOPER: Was it difficult for you to agree to do this?
BECK: No, not at all.
COOPER: What went into the decision? I mean, did you want -- what do you want people to know?
BECK: Well, it's very important to me and other folks who are involved with ISNA, the Intersex Society of North America, to increase public awareness. Let people know about intersexuality, the various conditions, and also call their attention to the fact that these surgeries in early childhood often -- harmful surgeries, obviously emotionally very harmful later in life, but also potentially physically harmful surgeries are still happening.
COOPER: What do you think parents should do? I mean, you're parents decided -- how did they make that decision, by the way, to have surgery to try to make you a girl?
BECK: This what the doctors told them. This was 1966. My parents had never heard of any such thing as intersexuality; had no idea that this was a possibility. And here they were with a brand new infant and the doctors couldn't tell them if that infant was a boy or a girl. The prevailing treatment paradigm at the time was to surgically intervene and create normal appearing female genitalia and raise that child female. And that was the doctors very strong recommendation.
COOPER: And what do you think parents -- what -- as you look back on that, what do you think your parents should have done? Or do you wish they had done?
BECK: Well, clearly, there needed to be a gender of assignment. And be it male or female. We are understanding now a great deal more about certain biological markers that can give the doctors a better understanding as to whether a male or female gender identity is likely to develop. But avoiding the early childhood surgeries, leaving the anatomy intact until the individual can actually be part of informed consent.
COOPER: Do you think there was an age when it became clear to you, that something was different?
BECK: I think that -- yes, I think from my earliest recollections, my earliest memories I was aware of the fact that there was something different. My life was a series of visits to doctors, specialists, men poking around between my legs with no explanation as to what was going on. I knew --
COOPER: What would they tell you about those doctor visits? Because you continued to have surgeries and without any explanation of why you were having surgeries?
BECK: Well, when I reached an age that I think at around 11 or 12, I needed to have some major surgery. It was explained to me that I was a girl, but I wasn't finished yet. And that was the doctor's explanation. That was the extent of the explanation.
COOPER: Did that make sense to you? I mean, it sounds --
BECK: No, it didn't. I certainly didn't question. I mean, so much of it was tied in with my parents and my family. It was emotionally devastating for my mother to talk about it. It was impossible for her to talk about it. The doctors had told her not to talk about it with me. And, you know, she was able to comply because she couldn't talk about it without just falling to pieces. And so I learned from a very early age not to ask those questions, certainly not of my parents. COOPER: Well, it's great that you are talking about it now. The documentary is called "Middle Sexes: Redefining He and She". It premieres on our sister network, HBO, tomorrow night, 9:30 Eastern. We'll definitely be watching. Thanks so much. It's good to meet you.
BECK: My pleasure. Same here.

Gentle reader: If you're still with me, I ask that you click on the link at right to Max's blog and read his final post there.

Max, I'll see you next time.