Is Giuliani "Interesting?"

I read the following on The Huffington Post today:

"Per the Jewish news service JTA, top Giuliani aide Ken Kurson told a Jewish audience last night in New York that if Bill Clinton was "the first black president," than the former New York mayor would be the first Jew to reach the White House. Kurson was referring to Giuliani's support among Jews in New York and, presumably, his backing of Israel."

Of course, after reading this I was intrigued. Is Rudy really a Brew? They found out that John Kerry had a little Hymie in him, remember? And General Wesley Clark does, too. So I thought it was worth taking a look at this possibility. Let's examine the evidence:

Rudy was born in Brooklyn. So far, he's looking pretty Jewy. Not a Bronx Indian, but still pretty strong.

His father was a criminal who did time in Sing Sing, after which he became a Mafia enforcer. Hmmm. That sounds less than completely Yid to me.

Giuliani is a Yankees fan. This could swing either way, and surely there are plenty of Burger Yankee fans. So we'll put this in the neutral column.

Most members of his family are either policemen or firemen. Are you kidding? Unless you count that whole Burning Bush thing, Jews aren't firemen. Or cops. Have you ever known a Jewish cop? Jews are lawyers, and maybe even criminal prosecutors, but they aren't cops.

He was the Chief of Police of New York. This is a position never held by a Jew before or since. And since Giuliani is not identied yet as a Jew, it's a position that has never been held by a Jew. I rest my case.

He was the Mayor of New York: Big-time job for the Red Sea Pedestrians in recent years. Beame, Koch, LaGuardia (part Jewish), Bloomberg. You get the picture. So he gets some points here.

Rudy married his second cousin--very shtetl-fabulous--but then had the marriage annulled because he said he thought they were third cousins when they wed. What kind of mishegoss is that? Annullment? No such thing for the 5-3-9. In the tribe, if you want your marriage "annulled" you stop talking to each other and instead communicate via your children. e.g. "Tell your father to put the leftover brisket in a tupperware." "Tell your mother that her brisket was dry and not worth saving."

I'm sure you will agree, that after this complete analysis of the evidence, I must conclude that Giuliani is about as Jewish as paying retail for a Christmas ham.

WTF

Once again, I find myself struck dumb by a post on Kimchi Mamas. Here is today's pearl:

"I've dated many Jewish guys (am dating one right now) and many of my BFFs (Best Friend Forevers) have been Jewish too. I've noticed that what Asians (regardless of religion) and Jews have in common is the drive for success. Jewish comedians often talk about nagging moms, moms bragging about their sons and daughters' education, jobs, etc...I'm wondering if others on this board have noticed this too...
Posted by: Cynthia C Thursday, November 01, 2007 at 08:20 "

First, I love how she literally tells us that some her best friends are Jews. Then the knish queen lumps all the Jews together, based on stereotypes she has heard from Jewish comedians, and indulges in some facile, race-baiting sweeping generalities about Jews & Asians. Who is this broad? And does she mean to imply that Latinos, African-Americans, Whites, and Christians do not have a drive for success?