TMI

As a corollary to yesterday's post: Last night, Booper and I are doing the whole night-night snuggle routine.
He asks me, "When a lady has a baby in her tummy, how does it get out?" (There are several pregnant moms at his school, so this topic has been getting a lot of air time.)
I responded, "Ladies have a tunnel where the baby comes out."
Booper: "Is it your belly button?"
Me: "No. It's down lower, in the private area."
Booper: "Can I see yours?"
Me: "No. It's private."
Booper: "But I'm in your family!"
Me: "I know you are in my family. But there are some parts of a lady's body that are private, even if you're in the same family. "
Booper: "I want to see it."
Me: "You can't see it. But I will tell you about it. It's called a vag!na. And it's a tunnel that opens up so the baby can come out. Sometimes a lady has a doctor with her when the baby comes out, to help her, so that's why she goes to the hospital."

Christ, almighty. I can't believe I said the word "vag!na" to my kid. In fact, I can't believe I had this whole fucking conversation with Booper. Lately he is walking around the house with a stuffed penguin under his shirt, telling me that he is going to have a baby. Two nights ago, he fell asleep like that. Then this morning he had the penguin on the kitchen table and notified me that he had delivered my grand-penguin this morning. He hasn't picked a name yet.

Oh, and yesterday we were in a ladies room where they had a tampon/maxipad machine. Of course, he wanted to know all about it and what "those things" are used for. Fuck. I thought having boys was going to free me from these conversations.