Day of Atonement--Please G-d, if I say sorry will you let the Yankees win the World Series?

It's that time of year again: Yom Kippur. The Day of Atonement. While this holiday is kind of confusing for kids (who rarely do much worth atoning for) it is kind of cool for adults. The deal, historically, is that everyone in the village gets together and publicly apologizes for all their transgressions during the previous year. As a group, we read aloud a list of "sins," apologizing for everything, whether we did it or not. In this way, we provide for each other a veil of secrecy because only we know which mistake actually applies personally to us. (i.e. "I apologized out loud for cheating on my taxes, which I didn't do, but I also got to apologize outloud for coveting my neighbors buttery suede purse, which I did."

In the olden days, the service was followed by a tradition of personally approaching each individual we had wronged, confessing our error, and offering a sincere apology. If done during the Yom Kippur holiday, the wronged person was obligated to accept the apology regardless.

Of course, like any human being, I am secretly hoping to get something in return for all this soul-baring torment. And this year, I am hoping G-d will see fit to let my Yankees win the World Series. They are making a run at their division right now, and I'm getting October baseball fever. To that end, I am paying tribute to the Chosen people who are currently active in the Major Leagues. Don't worry...it's a short list. While it would surprise no one to know that Jews have always had a prominent role in the management of sports, it may shock you to know that we also represent on the field.

Shawn Green: Currently on that great Jewish team, the NY Mets, Shawn started his career on the Dodgers (historically also strong for the Jews. Can you say Sandy Koufax?) According to a friend, he started a near riot in the synagogue circles of LA as they all competed actively for his membership when he first moved to town. Plus, he's hot! He posted 3 100-RBI seasons in the past, though this year he is struggling with injuries and not doing as well. Shandah, really.

Gabe Kapler & Kevin Youkilis: Two players for the Red Sox (puh puh puh.) Kapler has been around a while and is a solid player, but he spent the past year in a management role. He intends to return to active play next year. The life of a professional baseball player can be quite stressful. There's all the travel, the pressure to perform in a spotlight, your life constantly under a microscope, the invitations to Bar Mitzvahs. Youkilis is a rookie phenom at this time, so I am going to overlook the fact that he plays for Satan's team: The Bosox. He was involved in a mini-scandal in last week's game. The Yankee pitcher hit the firstbaseman with a pitch, and it was clear that this was unintentional. (He was in mid-swing when the ball hit his wrist.) The next time the Yankee firstbaseman came up to bat, the Red Sox pitcher promptly retaliated by throwing the ball right at him. Evil. But de rigeur for the majors. If he hadn't done it, his team would never let him forget it.

There are a few more players, none of them prominent enough to mention. sigh.

Whether baseball loyalty is more often passed on via matrilineal (like traditional Jewish identity) or patrilineal (the Reform movement theory) descent is a question for more extensive research. Nevertheless, my father's loyalty was to the Brooklyn Dodgers. When they moved west, he was forced to choose another team. Reluctantly, he went with the Yankees, and my love of Yankee baseball was born.

The Yankees haven't had many Jewish players (one exception was Ron "Boomer" Blomberg, who is remembered most for his having the distinction of being the first designated hitter in baseball history), but that has been more than made up for in my own mind by the Yankees' wise decision to bring a certified-kosher hot-dog stand to the stadium, something only a few other teams have done. Also, New York has probably had more Jewish mayors than any other city (Mayor Bloomberg keeps a box next to the dugout, which he recently loaned to Spike Lee, Brad Pitt, and their offspring for thenight.) Plus, I'll bet my Loehmann's membership points that their accountant is an MOT.

So during this most important of Jewish holidays--the holiest of the holy--please join me in atoning sincerely for any transgressions during the year. (Trust me, it feels good.) And while you are in touch with your own personal diety, would you mind asking her/him/it/them to give the Yankees a little extra push this year? If sports personality post-game interviews are any indication, it seems She/He/It/They is the one who deserves the credit anyway. But that's another post....

Quietly murmured
at Saturday services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3